Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Winter Narrative
Nick urbanMrs. BoresenExpository WritingWinter Break Narrative1/12/2009This past Christmas vacation was an exciting one. Not just for me but mostly for my two younger half brothers. They are the perfect age, ranging from six to nine. Seeing their faces brought back precious memories of my own. This holiday I was reliving them.Every holiday or school break I visit my mother who lives in South Carolina along with my step father and two half brothers. Deena, my mom; always had a knack for making me smile every Christmas. This year I had the excitement of watching my brothers faces smile from ear to ear. Even though this year I just got clothes and cologne there is no better feeling than spending time with family and making memories. The most important gift you can give to any one person is time. Time is everything and everything is time. For example my mother doses not want anything from me. All she wants is some valuable time with me. Because time is something nobody can replace. I was only at my mothers for one week and now that I look back it felt like a whole three seconds.Even though we didn’t do much at my mothers we did take a lot of pictures. As well as eat and watch movies. Two things that my mom loves to do. That and eat ice. One thing that I did just about every hour was wrestle around with my younger brothers. I can’t remember if they ever did run out of energy. Every morning they would wake me up around seven o’ clock just to wrestle. At first I would sigh and say just a few more minutes but then I would tell myself that’s minutes I can never get back. So then I get up all fast and chase them around the house with sleep in my eyes.The Saturday I left tears would run down my face as I left my mother and two younger brothers because I know that I may never see them again. Now that I am grown up and about to leave for the Air force there is no telling when or where ill go.
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Nick I really enjoyed your story, how you made everything flow very smoothly. I liked your style of writing how you don't go into to much detail, but you get right to the point and you can still understand what your trying to say. The best part of you story is when you were talking about your mom and how you would make yourself get up to wrestle with your brothers. I related to your experience because of what you were saying about time and how it's very valuable. Because of your story I want to spend as much time with my family and the family that I don't see as often because with college coming up it is going to be hard leaving my family behind as well.
ReplyDeleteI would have to say that i understand completely what you are saying in this. I like your word choice and i like your flow. Overall i didnt see very many mistakes.
ReplyDeleteI would have to agree with Terran by saying that I know what you mean. Every year we go up to Montana, and it's the fastest week of the year. The time you spend with the ones you love the most goes by the fastest. I just thought that there were a few grammer mistakes, but that's not a big deal. I also really liked your voice. Right from the beginning I could sense your voice. Good job overall.
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